Words and Music by Tad Cavuoti, Class of 1977
Despite Williams’ reputation for the highest level of academic inquiry, it would appear that the College fund-raisers have chosen to rely most on the “athletic tug” to loosen the purse strings of alumni. Hence the hype surrounding the “big game” against Amherst, and, even more-so, the thirty-two varsity sports listed by name on the Williams donation webpage. In the spirit of the classic spoof songs of Harvard alumnus Tom Lehrer, “Thirty-Two Sports” is offered as a tongue-in-cheek inclusion for the new 2017 edition of Songs of Williams.
—Tad Cavuoti
Sheet Music
Lyrics
Chorus
We have thirty-two sports, both for women and men.
We have thirty-two sports, so let’s sing it again.
We have thirty-two sports in Division Three.
We have thirty-two sports,
We have thirty-two sports, needing your money!
We have thirty-two sports labeled varsity.
We have thirty-two sports both for you and for me.
We have thirty-two sports, and we are real proud.
We have thirty-two sports, so we’ll sing it aloud.
Chorus
We have thirty-two sports spreading Williams’ fame.
We have thirty-two sports and no two are the same.
We have thirty-two sports, so ya aughtta know,
we have thirty-two sports, we need lotsa your dough.
Chorus
We have thirty-two sports where you get to sweat.
We have thirty-two sports, don’t ya evah forget.
We have thirty-two sports, yes, for either sex,
we have thirty-two sports, so start writing those checks.
Chorus
We have thirty-two sports just to keep you fit.
We have thirty-two sports, just to keep us closeknit.
We have thirty-two sports, dig deep in your stash.
We have thirty-two sports, give us some of your cash.
Chorus
Megamenu Social